It was on my mission that I began to have questions. I loved meeting people and sharing with them what I considered to be a message of love and hope. But I was troubled by so many aspects of mission life, including:
· Training in techniques that seemed like sales tactics (Did the ‘good news’ have to be sold?) · The contrast between the emotional maturity and stability of those interested in our message versus those who were not interested (Were the faithful of other religions and the secular, loving families really less deserving of exaltation?) · Missionaries who were verbally abusive, mentally ill, or struggling with eating disorders (If the gospel couldn’t “solve” such problems for members, how could it resolve the challenges of others?) · General sadness among the missionaries, particularly the sisters (If we were living after the manner of happiness, why did it seem like we were always trying to cheer ourselves up?) · The contrast between super-obedient missionaries who seemed self-righteous, numbers-oriented and sometimes sexist versus less-obedient missionaries who actually seemed to love and connect with the people and respect sister missionaries (I thought the obedient were the ones able to learn how to love unconditionally, not the other way around?)
It didn’t make sense. I had been taught that “by their fruits ye shall know them,” but I became less and less convinced that our side had a corner on the good fruits.
It was on my mission that I began to have questions. I loved meeting people and sharing with them what I considered to be a message of love and hope. But I was troubled by so many aspects of mission life, including:
· Training in techniques that seemed like sales tactics (Did the ‘good news’ have to be sold?) · The contrast between the emotional maturity and stability of those interested in our message versus those who were not interested (Were the faithful of other religions and the secular, loving families really less deserving of exaltation?) · Missionaries who were verbally abusive, mentally ill, or struggling with eating disorders (If the gospel couldn’t “solve” such problems for members, how could it resolve the challenges of others?) · General sadness among the missionaries, particularly the sisters (If we were living after the manner of happiness, why did it seem like we were always trying to cheer ourselves up?) · The contrast between super-obedient missionaries who seemed self-righteous, numbers-oriented and sometimes sexist versus less-obedient missionaries who actually seemed to love and connect with the people and respect sister missionaries (I thought the obedient were the ones able to learn how to love unconditionally, not the other way around?)
It didn’t make sense. I had been taught that “by their fruits ye shall know them,” but I became less and less convinced that our side had a corner on the good fruits.
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